When Gholly Met Tylie
by SugoiByoshin
Summary: A take on what happened the night of Mat's escape from the Tarasin Palace, Gholam's POV. Complete PG13 JUST to be safe.


Disclaimer - I do not own Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time or anything related to the Novels.

Gholam looks down from the slippery outer wall, gazing upon the Seanchan Guards as they frantically scour the four-story Tarasin Palace, inside and out. The Captains drawl loud, urgent orders that carry into the night sky, but Gholam ignores the annoying speech. Why he picked today to visit the Palace, he's not sure. He almost slips off the wall, but grips on tightly,

"This day keeps getting worse. Damn rain."

Gholam pulls himself up the wall until he finds a large enough gap in the brick and transforms himself. The exhilaration of compressing his physical body into a thin tendril defies an orgasm and he launches himself through the wall.

In a puff of smoke, Gholam returns to his physical state and he falls to the wooden floor, landing in a silent crouch. He shakes off the rain from his black cloak and looks up towards the low ceiling, listening to the rain drops beating overhead. He looks around, surveying his position but he obviously missed his targeted room. Wooden rooms are arranged in a grid and the halls are lit by iron stand lamps.

"You there!" A woman's drawl jerks Gholam's head to the north and he grits his teeth.

"Uh…Hi." Gholam smiles calmly and waves, but the young woman isn't comforted. She holds her feather duster less than innocuously…wait, feather duster, "You're a maid!"

"I'm Soh'jin!" She demands offended and Gholam chuckles nervously and points to the ceiling,

"My deepest apologies, my lady. I was simply conducting maintenance on the leaky roof." The woman looks to the roof and then back to Gholam suspiciously.

"We seem to be missing some damane…but it wasn't you?" She asks uncertainly and Gholam shakes his head,

"Oh of course not, my lady."

"Good. You do not seem the type to take a…a damane to bed." She says scandalized and Gholam feigns disgust,

"A damane! In bed? Oh no, how _scandalous_!"

"Exactly. Now move on." The Soh'jin orders with a peremptory point and Gholam bows and scurries towards the staircase, faking diffidence as best as possible.

"Oh wait." Gholam spins around and the Soh'jin turns towards him, "What wing was this again? Just so I know _never _to come back…"

"The eastern wing…" She answers distrustfully and Gholam nods with a smile,

"Of course, _off limits_! Who would want a leashed lover? I mean, please!" Gholam cackles deviously as he rushes down the staircase, locking the location into his vast memory.

He rolls off the last step and into the hallway of the fourth level, the story he was supposed to tendril into. He stays back behind the dark corner as Seanchan Guards rush passed him. He looks out and runs the opposite direction but he immediately feels thousands of little needles poking his back, kind of comfortably.

"My Saidar Sense is tingling! Oh no, Sul'dam!" Gholam squeaks and quickly tendrils under the crack of a door. He rolls across the floor and stands up immediately, eyes widening. A powerful man stands up on the bed, wearing a dark green robe, half hanging off, clearing displaying the ravens tattooed on his shoulders. In his fist is the long a'dam connected to a Sea Folk hottie.

"Uhhh, I can explain this." The Deathwatch Guard drawls defensively and Gholam shakes his head disapprovingly,

"Karede, you have an addiction. I thought you sought help!" Karede shrugs his shoulders pathetically and steps off the bed,

"I like the dark chocolate, so sue me! I got…I got that jungle fever." Gholam snickers and nods his head,

"I can't blame you. Save me some, I have to do something first." Karede nods his head with a decadent smirk and Gholam tendrils back under the door.

He rolls across the hallway, barely missing the two Sul'dam as they rush past. He gives both of their backs a taste of his middle fingers as he walks backwards down the hallway. He spins around and rushes down the long, carpeted corridor. He smirks at a young Ebou Dari maid, but he doesn't have time to gawk at the magnificent bosom…te-te's.

He rushes passed and sees the door to his target and smirks viciously,

"Here's…Gholly!" Gholam tendrils under the door and rolls across the slick floor of Tylin's large apartments. He pops up and scowls, ready to take down his target but he doesn't see anyone. Disappointment immediately wracks his brain but he hears a quiet grunt from the side of the bed.

"What's this, now?" Gholam sidesteps around the four posted bed and glee fills his being as his eyes widen at seeing the voluptuously beautiful Tylin tied with strips of her own dress. Terror widens her eyes and she struggles against her bonds, but it's no use. Gholam is definitely gonna get some pointers from the freak that tied her up, the knots are superb.

"Don't worry bout it, I won't hurt ya." Gholam leans down with a serene smile, causing his teeth to sparkle, and he pulls the gag from Tylin's mouth. He pulls his hand away just in time to stop from losing an important finger on his right hand.

"It's you! Isn't it! The beast!" She squeaks and Gholam sighs sullenly,

"I have _such _a bad wrap, listen I'm—"

"I'll do anything if you spare me, please." Tylin continues her terrified rambling and Gholam shuts his mouth and places on an intimidating scowl,

"Anything?" He licks his lips hungrily and Tylin sighs and nods her head, as if he forced her,

"I'll sleep with you if I _must._"

"Hot diggity dog!" Gholam jumps into the air with a wide grin and 'dances a jig' around the room. He's wanted a Queen for a looooooonnnnnng time, "I'm a lucky bastard or my name aint Gholam!"

"Your name is _actually_ 'Gholam'?" Tylin asks and Gholam stops dancing and turns towards her, a grave expression overtaking his bliss.

"My real name…is Gunther…but if you tell anyone, _anyone_, I'll have to kill you," Gholam snickers, replacing the joviality, "But I hope that doesn't happen because you are _way_ too sumptuous to kill."

"Do you yearn for me _that_ much?" Tylin asks flattered and Gholam snickers deviously,

"Well of course…but the main thing is…well, I've just won a bet! If I bang you before Daved can get Elayne, well, I just won a date with Birgitte! Now _she's_ _hot!_"

"Oh, you like anorexic girls, huh?" Tylin asks through disappointment and Gholam shakes his head,

"Nah, well, not as much as Mat anyway." Tylin's eyes widen in disbelief, "Yea, his little bald headed black girl. I think she's in the WNBA."

"WHAT!" Tylin demands and Gholam jumps back through fear, although she can't move anything but her mouth.

"Uh yea…that's why I'm here, to congratulate him on his engagement."

"_Engagement_!" She spits the word with fury and Gholam forces his throat back open,

"I take it you didn't know…" He says, judging from the flames emanating from her body.

"And here I thought you were the villain! I helped him escape and he does this! Untie me, I want that little tramp's blood!" Tylin demands and Gholam nods and leans forwards, but the door bursts open.

"My Saidar Sense didn't go off!" Gholam growls as he spins around and his eyes widen at seeing Suroth, an attractive woman despite that crazy hair and her long-ass fingernails.

"What are you doing!" She drawls angrily and Gholam looks around for a crack to tendril under but Tylin scoots into view,

"Hi, Suroth."

"What are you doing at a time like this?" Suroth asks reproachfully and Tylin giggles innocently,

"Me and my new pretty were…ummm, experimenting." Suroth 'sniffs' and turns away,

"You shouldn't use that word for _him_. He's repulsive." She reaches for the door and Gholam growls angrily,

"Bitch, you better—" Suroth turns around, glaring daggers and Gholam swallows nervously,

"What I meant was, 'you better realize that repulsive isn't a strong enough word for my ugliness'…" Gholam chuckles and Suroth shakes her head,

"Now Mat was cute, but this one…what is he called?" Suroth turns towards Tylin inquiringly,

"Gunther…I—I mean Gholam!" Gholam spins around furiously and Tylin freezes in terror.

"Whatever." Suroth closes the door behind her and Tylin squeaks,

"I—I umm—please, Gholam, I'm _so_ sorry!"

"Why must you make this difficult for me…?" Gholam asks sullenly and reaches towards Tylin, and she shuts her eyes and braces herself, "…Now I've gotta stage your death, what are your measurements?" Tylin's eyes spring open,

"You mean, you're not going to—"

"I may be a chronic murderer, but I definitely aint a liar! I said I had to kill you, but uh, well…I don't wanna."

"How noble of you." Tylin smiles widely and Gholam nods his head with a sigh,

"Yea, I'm too cool."

"Who are you going to kill in my place?" Tylin asks curiously and Gholam rubs his chin and then snaps his fingers in epiphany,

"A big booty'd Sul'dam I guess. I don't like those bitches." Tylin nods her head in agreement,

"Me neither!"

"Are there blood tests in this age?" Gholam asks pensively and Tylin shrugs through confusion, "Good then no paternity tests either." Tylin blinks rapidly,

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ah, no matter, we've gotta catch up to Mat." Gholam answers and Tylin cackles deviously,

"Then we can go kill that little tramp!"

"Oh yes, but first," Gholam snickers sinisterly, "I need to help you up for…our little 'exchange'…well I mean, _big _exchange." Gholam leans forwards to release her bonds, but Tylin shakes her head,

"I think I'd rather stay tied up." A grin splits Gholam's face,

"This day keeps getting better."


End file.
